I'm pregnant, preggers, prego, "with child", or any other name you can come up with to describe the 9 (or is it really 10?) months of growing a baby. I'm both ecstatic and scared out of my mind.
The news came while Tony and I were visiting my in-laws in Minnesota. After a relaxing vacation up to Lake Superior I knew something was up with my body. Crampy, bloated, soar...all with the absence of my monthly visit from "Aunt Flow". Nonchalantly, I took a test the morning after we returned and saw two pink lines. I reacted with a gasp, a swear word (sorry mom) and a looong blank stare. You see, Tony and I weren't exactly "trying" to start a family, but in retrospect we were not exactly using all (or any) precautionary measures not to. Of course, I did what every newly expecting mother would, I tested again, and again...and again. I even bought the stick that reads out "pregnant" just to be certain the previous sticks weren't lying.
I am terrible with keeping secrets, so I told Tony about a half-hour after I tested. I coaxed him to walk with me out onto his parent's dock (thinking back, Tony proposed to me on a dock...full circle or what?) . I'm not very good at sugar coating so I told him the baby news outright. I wasn't expecting fireworks of happiness, but he gave me nothing, not even a "are you serious?". I let him chew the news I just handed him for about five minutes before I cut the silence. Teary eyed we both wondered what the HECK we were going to do. Does our insurance cover pregnancy? Where will we get the money? Am I going to get fat (so selfless, I know)? Are we prepared to be parents?
Luckily, this was a Sunday morning and shorty after I dropped the bomb on Tony we were off to church. I don't think we've ever needed to hear the Good Word as much as we did in this moment. Trying our best to process the baby news on our own wasn't nearly good enough. Too overwhelming. Attending church that morning was the best slap-in-the-face anyone could ask for. We needed to hear that God was completely and totally in control of the whirlwind around us. We both found relief and delight in the fact that God is good all the time.
We left Minnesota the next day. We resisted to tell anyone else (even the Jackie and Skip, my in-laws) the big news. We had to process the news ourselves first. While flying back home to Tahoe we took turns staring at smiling and shaking our heads in disbelief. There were still no words.
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